Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
