I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
