he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
