theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
