the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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