We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
