I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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