Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
