I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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