thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
