Pants 0. Shit 1.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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