You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Terrible idea I love it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
