My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
