just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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