Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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