I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
