batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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