you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
