I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I know her cup size but not her name....
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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