is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
