The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
