I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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