I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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