Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
