you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
