I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We left an ass print on the piano.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
