I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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