those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
