Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
