You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
