Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
