Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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