Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
