I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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