i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
