So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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