check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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