Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
