it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
