Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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