It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this will be a night to untag.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
