i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
