what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
