FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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