I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize