hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
