She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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