Don't you send me to vm
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
