Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They are going to name an STD after you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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