Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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