Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
