I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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